During my recovery journey, there has been one technique that helped me tremendously. It doesn’t really have a specific name, but I would call it Inner Child Work. In many ways, it’s quite similar to EMDR.
Recovery is not easy. While trying to rebuild physically, keeping your mind and emotions steady is a battle on its own. At one point, I felt as if I had lost everything. It was like life had suddenly stopped, and I had become someone else.
I lost my connection with myself.
“Who am I? What happened to me? Where is my life going?”
I lived with these questions for a long time. Even a year after being discharged from the hospital, I still couldn’t fully reconnect with my past. I was alive, but I didn’t feel like myself — more like a stranger inside my own body.
This is the nature of trauma. Sometimes you feel disconnected even from your own emotions.
Of course, I went to therapy. I took medication. I learned self-compassion. I attended mindfulness courses. Each of these tools was helpful in its own way.
But among them all, Inner Child Work gave me a very special kind of comfort.
“The child within is real. It’s not a metaphor. It’s your actual early self that continues to live inside you. Healing begins when we acknowledge that child, listen, comfort, and re-parent it.”
— Charles L. Whitfield, Healing the Child Within (1987)
How I Do This Practice
Especially on those tough days — when I feel hopeless, frustrated, or overwhelmed — I turn to this technique.
The kind of thoughts that trigger me often sound like this:
Why did this happen to me?
When will I fully recover?
Will I ever heal?
What do people think about me?
How did I end up here?
When these thoughts come, I retreat to my safe space. A quiet, dark room if possible. I play some calming music and close my eyes.
I begin to visualize myself as a little girl, about 3 or 4 years old. She is sad, lonely, crying, and desperate for comfort.
Around her, I imagine people saying things like:
“Why did you end up like this?”
“Why are you sick?”
“We don’t love you.”
Of course, these are not real voices — they are my own intrusive thoughts, shaped by my fears about how others might perceive me.
At this moment, I approach her as my adult self.
I gently pick her up, hold her close, and say:
“I love you.”
“It’s okay now, you’re safe.”
“I am here for you, and I will never leave you.”
As I say this, I literally hug myself. I gently tap my shoulders, applying light tapping (bilateral stimulation), which calms my body and mind.
“Tapping allows us to access the amygdala and hippocampus directly, calming the body’s fear response and rewriting emotional memory.”
— Nick Ortner, The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living (2013)
It feels as though I am truly hugging that little girl inside me. Slowly, she stops crying. A soft smile appears on her face. She feels safe.
I stay with this image for a while, simply holding her.
Then I gently put her back where she belongs, and I see her walking away peacefully, happy, and safe.
I take a deep breath and open my eyes.
“Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and care we would offer to a good friend who is struggling.”
— Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (2011)
Becoming My Own Parent
This practice gives me deep comfort because sometimes what we need most is compassion — and not always from others, but from ourselves.
Not everyone can always be there for us.
But we can learn to become our own safe space, our own parent.
Healing is not just about the body — it’s about the heart, mind, and soul too.
Inner Child Work, combined with tapping, is actually quite similar to EMDR. Many therapists use similar techniques.
That’s why I truly believe it can be practiced safely and can bring great relief, especially during difficult times.
With love.
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