WEEK TWO
They continued the antibiotics — two different kinds, twice a day. My fever hovered around 38°C. The nightmares had lessened a bit. Every morning they took blood; my arms were full of needle marks. I had a hard time eating hospital food because I couldn’t use my jaw muscles properly. Mouth sores started appearing.
Since I was still very weak, I wasn’t fully aware of how bad my mobility had become. A catheter had been inserted, so I wasn’t going to the bathroom myself. My arms and hands were extremely weak and shaking. I couldn’t speak — not even to say “yes.”
I had an MRI, EMG, EEG, and a PET scan. All came back clear. The lesion in my brain had disappeared. My bloodwork was much better, although CRP was still high. They took another lumbar puncture — it was clean again.
When I was first admitted, they said it might be encephalitis. Then they suspected lithium intoxication (I’d been on lithium for 8 years) or meningitis. As the tests kept coming back clean, the diagnosis got blurrier and blurrier.
Near the end of the second week, I suddenly became cheerful and smiling for some reason. I even started enjoying the terrible hospital food. Was it the relief of still being alive? Or had the meds just made me goofy? I still don’t know.
WEEK THREE
The catheter had been removed, but since I couldn’t walk, two people had to hold me by the arms to take me to the bathroom. Physical therapy had started, though they didn’t come that often. My whole body trembled. I couldn’t stay upright — even sitting, I’d collapse. My hands, especially the right one, shook uncontrollably. I couldn’t hold anything. I could only say “yes” or “no.” Writing was impossible. I still saw double at times, and everything was blurry. Sometimes I had shortness of breath. When I tried to hold my head up, it trembled too.
I couldn’t understand what had happened to me.
They started giving me B vitamin infusions. After three days, I began to speak a little again. They stopped the antibiotics, but other medications continued. They said they wanted to give me IVIg, suspecting I might have an autoimmune condition.
WEEK FOUR
I received IVIg for five days. There was no significant improvement in my symptoms. They said I might have Guillain-Barré syndrome, and that recovery could take 1 to 6 months. Every day they drew blood and continued testing, but everything came back clean.
They discharged me from the hospital when I had no mobility, my whole body was trembling, and I could only speak a few words.
On a beautiful day in May, amidst all the uncertainty, I returned home. To my cats. And I still had hope — that soon, I would be okay.
